Father daughter relationships and dating
A lot has changed for dads over the past few generations, says Gary Brown, Ph.
D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles.
"Seventy-five years ago, fathers weren't even allowed in the delivery room; now, dads are there from the very beginning," he says.
"Fathers today are much more informed and involved with their children, taking an active part in the nurturing of their children, from feeding — whether expressed breast milk or formula — to changing diapers, soothing, clothing, bathing, reading to, and helping their baby go to sleep." This parenting paradigm shift has led to significant benefits for both dads and daughters, he says.
I get lost in my own plans to ensure that I get whatever it is I think I need and become convinced that there must be some “answer” that I just haven’t found yet. There’s no plan, no specific actions that I can take that will ensure the success of this relationship (or, incidentally, cause its demise).
This is why dads need to resist the temptation to see their daughters as the little child they once were and instead use this time to build a stronger relationship with the woman she's becoming.
Yeah, I know, the children of the man I love don’t want me around, which makes said man feel guilty and stretched in too many directions, in turn causing fear and insecurity for us both.
Tell me one more time that it’s not personal, I dare you. His kids dislike you only as a concept, not as a person—they’re looking for that same safety and stability we all are, and you just happen to be the embodiment of all that threatens that.
While it’s true that his kids wouldn’t like anyone with their father, it isn’t anyone—it’s you.
You are the woman who’s actually there, feeling resented, in the way, and often tossed aside for more important things.
Kids have an instinct for sniffing out bullshit, and if you try too hard, they’ll take a magnifying glass to whatever warts they’ve already decided you have.