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Many Asian men have unhelpful expectations of meeting either “mother figures” or “beauties,” Lee said.
They run up against Asian and other women looking for “someone to take care of them.” Things often don’t click.
Convinced that the family pressure on young Asian men to achieve financial success creates their relationship difficulties, Lee has made a career out of working with hundreds of East Asian men, and to a lesser extent Caucasians, to overcome their chronic social ineptitude.“A lot of Asian men grow up in extremely restrictive and over-critical households, where they are told they cannot date women until they finish university or get a job,” Lee said in an interview.“Their parents push them to have a steady income before they seek out a woman, and it really screws them up.
When the time finally comes, they don’t have the social skills and self-confidence for dating.”Many East Asian men lack a firm identity and are “emotionally stunted,” said Lee, a Simon Fraser University graduate who was born in east Vancouver after his parents moved to Canada from Hong Kong in the 1970s.
In Metro Vancouver, which has the highest rate of mixed-race relationships in Canada (nine per cent), Lee said he has been in three serious partnerships — two with Chinese women and one with a Caucasian.