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And, it’s even worse if you are a smart, successful woman.Look at the average ratings of men and women from OK Cupid.You want your photos to paint a picture of who you are and the exciting life that a potential partner could have if they were with you.Looking over my photos, Sameera liked that I had plenty of images that showed that I’m a fun person who travels a lot and likes to have a good time.She’s not a fan of Bumble, which she believes “makes men passive and lazy when they were already passive to begin with.” Sameera’s older clients have had more luck with online dating sites rather than apps, in part because there’s a wider selection of people above a certain age.
My previously terrible experience with a dating coach showed me how important it is to get a good one, so I enlisted the help of NYC’s top matchmaker: Sameera Sullivan.Don’t use headshots because they make you look stiff and boring. You want to give someone a sense of your personality, but you also want to retain a sense of mystery, so don’t give everything away. She did, however, suggest I remove “Oxford graduate” because it sounds boastful and that can be a turn-off to people.Looking at my bio, Sameera thought it was good because it was short, but gave a basic sense of who I am and, again, made it easy for someone to message me based on the information I provided (“What kind of jazz do you like? She suggested I let men figure out I’m smart by talking to me instead of spelling it out for them.And it’s normalized some truly terrible behavior, like ghosting, orbiting and breadcrumbing, turning people into disposable objects.Not to mention, in the era of tech addiction, I hate the idea of spending any more time scrolling through my i Phone than I absolutely have to.
She also provides a virtual coaching program (rates start at $6,500 for 3 months), in which her Matchmaking Coach takes over your profile, writing your bio, taking professional shots of you, choosing people for you to message, and providing feedback and guidance on your exchanges.