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As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.When PIRs do a personal inventory, they list the things--their thoughts, feelings, character traits, and behaviors--that stand in the way of recovery and those personal strengths that can help in recovery.It is obviously very important, therefore, for PIRs to identify and release their resentments in a constructive way.My friend Paul told me about helping PIRs make "resentment lists." He said at first they'll say "heck no, I don't have any resentments," until they actually start listing the people and things that make them angry.When they were drinking and using, they may have grown used to doing whatever it took to cover up, excuse, or engage in their addictive behavior.
If you sense (or know) this is the case with your PIR, it's good to give them some space and lots of tender support and encouragement, remembering that you can't be their therapist, but you can be their friend. Nagy is a college professor, actor, and songwriter.In these Steps, PIRs practice reaching out to other people and face their fear of rejection.In the process, they learn mutual respect for others and how to have equality in a relationship rather than power over someone else.This category also gets the PIR thinking about how they were inconsiderate with their partner, how they might have been jealous or suspicious, or how they might have cheated on their partner.Paul told me that, for him, the easiest part was to remember and list all the people he had harmed.
Many PIRs [people in recovery] also need help establishing healthy relationships.